Single Again

But you know what it's better that I am.  

Because now i can take time to do things for me.  

Not for anyone else.

I had to end it.  I couldn't allow someone to tell me what i should and shouldn't fantasize about, telling me that i couldn't fantasize about anyone else but him (because he only had fantasies about me while he was with me... RIGHT).  And the constant obsessing over something that i had to tell him again and again would NOT happen. Hell i think that if i had told him in a different language it still wouldn't have stuck.

He says he wants to marry me, but how can he expect me to want to marry him when he says he trusts me and then yet in the same breath doubt my loyalty to him?  To me, "Actions speak louder than words".  And just because i express a fantasy, just because i write it out, does NOT mean that i will put that into action! And i said that, again and again.  But he wouldn't believe me, even though he said he did.

And then the presumption of telling what i could and couldn't do and what is should and shouldn't think/do. . . What a joke.  

Yes, i am a sweet woman and very easygoing, but don't you push me too far, or i will make sure i put you on your ass. And that's what i did, i told him that i was done with his bullshit and his controlling ways and his possessiveness.  He went from 0 to child in less than 3 seconds, it was pathetic.  Pleading and crying telling me that okay he'd allow my fantasy and to just take him back and he'd work on his jealously and and and....


GAH!! Whatever, it's done, its over with, time to move on and forward.


Yes I know he will read this, and you know what, i dont care. . . maybe it'll finally sink in that i dont want a child by my side, but a man, who leaves the past in the past, and looks towards the future. . . and that i no longer figure into his FANTASY of a life with me.